My family met Joanne when we moved to Mississippi in 1970 and started going to St. John's Episcopal Church together.  My first memory of Joanne is from when we sang a descant together in the church choir.  Over the years, she was always in our life through church.  My brother, Eric, dated her on and off over the years.  She and I became best of friends when I moved back to the Coast while I was stationed at Keesler AFB in Biloxi, MS.  We spent so much time together and I loved her dearly.  And, we had fun together.  She was my date to all Air Force functions, and my regular bowling partner on Friday nights when we would go with David and Diane Richards, also two of my closest friends.  Around this same time, Eric and Joanne started seeing each other again.  It seemed like everything was perfect - I had an amazing friend, and my brother was seeing the most amazing woman in the world.

Then, tragedy struck in February of 1989, the week of Joanne's birthday.  She was supposed to go out of town for the weekend, so I was not planning to see her.  I had gone to a flea market in Mobile, Alabama with my friends Amy Dayton and Don Duckett.  It had been a really fun day - I had found the Muppet Movie song book and a book on Namu - one of the first Killer Whales in captivity.  When we got back to Don's place, I checked my answering machine and there was a message from Joanne's sister Callie.  It sounded urgent and she left a number that was in Biloxi.  When I called, Joanne answered the phone, but I was so worried that I didn't even recognize her voice.  Callie got on the phone and immediately handed it back to Joanne.  She was right down the street from Don's apartment IN THE HOSPITAL!

I rushed over immediately and she told me what had happened.  While at the bank drive-thru, Joanne had had a seizure.  If she had not had an automatic transmission and had it not been in park, she could have driven straight into traffic.  X-Rays had revealed that she had a brain tumor.  They did surgery and found out that it was malignant - Type 3 cancer - and there had been two other large tumors.  The surgery had also paralyzed the right side of her body.  The prognosis was not good.  Although she would go through chemo, she was not expected to live.

I was transferred to Panama a few months after the surgery.  I called every month, and each time I could tell that Joanne was getting worse.  She would sometimes be delusional and started talking about nonsensical things.  It was very hard to deal with.  In August I came home for a visit and and went to see her.  Joanne had been in a coma for several weeks, and when she came out of it, she didn't say anything except "hello".  She was living at her mom's house, in a bedroom that looked out on the beautiful trees behind the house.  Her mother told me not to be too upset if she didn't recognize me.  I braced myself.  When I walked into the room,  she turned her head toward me and said "What are you doing here?  You're in Panama."  I couldn't believe it!  I sat beside her and held her hand and we talked about everything that had been going on with me while in Panama.  She seemed so happy to see me that I couldn't help but be happy, too.  After about an hour, she drifted off to sleep, but when I removed my hand from hers, she started and said "Where you going?".  I stayed until she fell asleep and then drove back to Houston for my flight back to Panama.  Despite the situation, it is one of the best memories I have of my life.

I returned to Panama, but was back in Mississippi on December 28th.  I called Pat, Joanne's mom, and asked if I could come visit.  She told me that since Joanne was totally non responsive, it would be best if I waited until Eric arrived and we visited her together.  She thought that we would be able to talk to each other, and that Joanne would hear us.  We would do that on Sunday morning.  Eric arrived on Saturday evening, the family went to brunch at Bombay Bicycle Club on Sunday morning and went back to Mum's place.  I called Joanne's house to tell them we were coming.  Her sister, Callie, answered the phone.  When I asked her how she was, she told me "shitty", and I knew.  When I spoke to Pat, she told me that it was probably better that my last memory of her was from August, and that I would not have wanted to see her as she was before she died.  All I knew was that one of my dearest friends was dead.  Then, she told me that Joanne had died because she knew it was okay to let go - because both Eric and I were there.

We were both pall bearers at the funeral.

I miss her to this day.